ETHEL MERMAN OR MERMAID? DINOSAURS TO DEAD GUNSLINGERS: Unnatural Roadside Distractions

Bad enough that three men were hung from the Hangman's Tree (center), but everyone here is buried with their boots on according to the reverse of this postcard. Apparently, BOOT HILL CEMETERY was not Boot OptionalLong before the tabloid freak show of Jerry Springer or Jersey Shore, one had to actually "go out" to find the oddities of American life.  You had to take to the highways and backroads of this sprawling country and be on the lookout for screamingly gaudy roadside billboards with their outrageous claims: SHOCKINGLY REAL!  STRANGE, BUT TRUE!  And my favorite: FOUND ALIVE!  (So it's dead now, right?)

Roadside Americana has always been a mixed bag... of snakes, snake charmers and snake oil salesmen.   We may know that disappointment looms around the corner, especially after we paid our admission with the loose change found in the cushions of our car seats. 

Brontosaurus, Dinosaur Park, Rapid City, South DakotaBut Americans love to be disappointed because we love to complain.  Seriously, if we were ever truly satisfied what would be the point of ever talking to anyone again?   Is not a story about BAD service/food/weather told 10x more often than the GOOD?  Try to take just one day complimenting the joys of life to your friends, family, co-workers... and by late evening they'll have forced an INTERVENTION on your sappy too-happy ass.  Clearly, something's wrong with you.

Regardless how contrived or proposterous, we love to be taken if for no other reason than to acquire a major gripe and grumble.  Barnum discovered this and re-invented modern day advertising as we know it. 

Was Coca-Cola ever "the real thing?"   And "real" compared to what?  The unreal, surreal?  Not even an "Un-Cola" could explain that away.

No, the fake and the faux and the false fabrications are exactly what we're all about.  Whether we've dressed up a cemetery to milk the bones of old gunslingers... or recreated a drive-thru Dinosaur... or discovered the long lost legacy of Mermaids, or better yet, a Merman... we're never disappointed in being disappointed.

Now so little is left of such places.  Invariably the old-timers that ran these fabulous gaffs are gone along with their decrepit exhibits. It's tough to make a living these days working with the taxidermied or the stuffed. 

Unless, of course, it's foie gras.

Merman on Exhibition at Alligator Farm, Hot Springs, Arkansas

Jake, the Alligator Man with Shrunken Head insert, Marsh's Free Museum... which charged a $2.00 admission, $1.50 for children under 12.