When Danny Met Sally

THE TOP 10 “OTHER THINGS” WRONG WITH CHICAGO 2013

Danny Alias — Tue, 23 Apr 2013 22:51:41 +0000

A recent “essay” in the New York Times has created a media frenzy not seen since serial killer Andrew Cunanan passed through Chitown, Versace-bound. The title of the article is "Chicago Manuals" but its the city that gets the shifted stick.

Author Rachel Shteir weaves her off-kilter criticism of three exciting and long awaited Chicago-themed books with her own heavy-handed 3-way review. It's rather a wallop of a laundry list of what’s wrong with Chicago.

Shtier is a theatre professor at DePaul University, a 13 year resident of Chicago and a transplant from St. Elsewhere. She wrote a well received book on the history of strippers--(Did Chicago at least get a pastie shout out?)-- and is now about to publish a book on the history of shoplifting.

No, you can’t make stuff like this up. You could, but then it wouldn’t be as wacky. Or as fictionally non-fictional.

For those unfamiliar with her piece you need only to look it up online, read the various media responses, listen to the outrage on NPR or watch NBC’s Carol Marin Go Oh-So-Politically Ape Shit. And we're not talking Bushman here, though we’re all probably somehow responsible for his early primate death from eating a bad Mars Bar. (Another suspicious, Chicago-made product that should be looked into...)

From ex-Mayor Daley selling us down the parking meter river… a point all Chicagoans agree upon… to our crooked politicians (what city/state doesn’t have those by the subpoena-full?)… to Chicago’s weird global warming inspired weather… there is little Shteir doesn’t have a beef about.

All beef hot dogs? A Chicago institution? Has anyone seriously looked into these Vienna people?

"Wake Up, Ambien... It's Time To Get Adopted !!!"

Danny Alias — Mon, 01 Apr 2013 02:59:36 +0000

"4 Out of 5 Cat Nurses Agree"... The Cutest Cat & Craziest Kitten Adoption Event Ever... Is this Sunday, April 7th, 12-4pm @ BAM: 6130 N. Broadway in Chicago's Edgewater neighborhood.

Loving Cats and Adorable Kittens await “Furrever" homes at this special vintage rescue event.

Hosted by Broadway Antique Market in conjunction with Precious Pets/Almost Home Assn., a 501©3 Non-Profit, all-volunteer organization.

"It's a Meowst!"

Stubborn ARIES Rams Like An Impatient Spendthrift-- Astro Predictions, 2013

Danny Alias — Thu, 21 Mar 2013 05:00:24 +0000

Chicagoland World's Fair Memorabilia Show, April 14th, 2013

Danny Alias — Fri, 15 Mar 2013 17:00:22 +0000

Senator Ted Cruz: An Echo of History, The Rise of Charlie McCarthyism

Danny Alias — Sat, 23 Feb 2013 18:00:00 +0000

CRUZ: I want to thank you for inviting me to share my paranoid concerns for the future of America. You know, Charlie, you can't spell Paranoid without using the first two letters of the word Patriot.

McCARTHY: P.A.? Should people in Pennsylvania and the Tri-State Area be concerned?

CRUZ: No. Well, yes, perhaps. I've been very clear about this. I'd need a population count of Pennslyvania to give you an accurate number of the potentially paranoid.

McCARTHY: What is your position with the newly Decaffeinated Tea Party?

CRUZ: You mean the Karl Rove/Newt Gingrich/Sheldon Adelson/Donald Trump/Marco Rubio/Sarah Palin/Fozzy Bear/Log Cabin E-Pac?

McCARTHY: No, I'm sorry. That's one down and we say hello to Arlene Francis...

BAM On The Road: Sin, Sin, Cincinnati Show On Sale, 2/23-24

Danny Alias — Sat, 23 Feb 2013 15:32:37 +0000

It's that time of year again... where are our friends in Cincinnati visit BAM on the run... I mean, road.

This vintage powerhouse of mid century wonderment has been entertaining the locals for years. It's our chance to give Cincy a taste of Chicago that doesn't involve corndogs. (Well, maybe bakelite corn holders... :)

See prior blog for show info. Click for more photos...

Magnetic PISCES, Beware the Gloomy Florist: Astro Predictions, 2013

Danny Alias — Wed, 20 Feb 2013 18:00:12 +0000

TOP 5 INFAMOUS WONDERS THAT NEVER WERE

Danny Alias — Fri, 15 Feb 2013 17:00:59 +0000

Most people are content with "what is". What's new? What's different? Perhaps oddly, I am interested in "what isn't"... or more correctly, what hasn't been realized. Nothing bothers me more than being promised something and then not getting it. Maybe it goes back to a childhood memory of a disappointing Christmas, but don't tell me I'm getting something and then back out of the deal. You know who you are and you promised me!

As the drag actor Divine once famously screamed: "I wanted Cha-Cha Heels!"

The following are 5 WONDERS THAT NEVER WERE: 5 Big Things that we were promised, but never came to pass. Personally, I feel cheated... and you should too. Any one of these would have been amazing... and at one time or another they were planned and promised to be. In the end however these places and things never happened. And the world is lessened by the void.

Feel free to send me your suggestions to add to the WONDERS THAT NEVER WERE list. AliasDanny@Rocketmail.com

Vintage Valentine's Day: When You Cared Enough To Not Text A Telegram!

Sally Schwartz — Thu, 14 Feb 2013 17:04:00 +0000

As you may notice, this Western Union Valentine Telegram is from the good old days when someone in a clean uniform would ring your doorbell and present you with an immediate fine how-do-you-do. No beeps, rhumba sounds, or the cellular refrain of We Are Family! Hearing the doorbell ring and seeing Western Union was not much fun if someone in a military uniform was standing there... but for love and announcing great news and offering congratulations -- there is absolutely no one thing today that comes close to the brilliant simplicity and integrity of the Telegram. Sorry Twitter.

Danny & Sally's Top 20 Vintage Trends for 2013 (Plus 13 Lucky Bloopers): Predictions

Danny Alias — Wed, 13 Feb 2013 06:00:00 +0000

What is Time? Is it simply a consensus on our collective reality?

Is today’s more relevant than say… a week ago last Thursday?

Or perhaps time is just an intangible concept that we humans use to make one another feel bad: “You can’t be too rich, but you can certainly be too late.”

It’s no wonder then that the present is always so tense.

Yes, Time is a Bitch. Space, however vacuous and in need of better lighting, always requires things. Stuff. Objects. Tchothckes. A Gucci Handbag. A Fornasetti Plate. A Milo Baughman Sofa. The Universe can’t decorate itself, you know. And you’re losing valuable shopping... time.

Hence we present what’s left of the future: Danny & Sally’s 2013 Predictions. 20 Vintage Lifestyle Trends, Plus 13 Lucky Bloopers: The Objects and Objections for this Most Wondrous New Year. Enjoy!